Writing query letters is like doing calculus (or whatever she’s doing).
This is a topic I’ll be coming back to more, but for now just let me say #@$%! and then smash my head off my dining room table. I say dining room table and not desk because I don’t like to write at my desk. I spent my entire life sitting at one in one form or another, and I spend 32 hours a week (sometimes more) sitting at one in a particularly hellish place – a cubicle. So is a desk conducive to creativity for me? Nope. Dining room tables, over-sized armchairs, hotel room beds and sofas are where the juice flows. But that’s a tangent for another time.
And actually, writing queries isn’t so much an art as it is uncovering the secret of the universe. After losing so much hair my husband noticed, I decided to pony up for a consultation and paid $150 to a professional via Grub Street to hack into my query letter. I’m not going to reveal all his secrets because then the guy won’t get paid, but I have to say – it was well worth it. Even after all of my research and reading and studying example query letters, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Now I’m about 50% more confident. For some reason I understand the concept, but when it comes to applying the formula, I get writer’s block. My plot suddenly becomes Everest and I’m standing at the bottom in a sports bra and sneakers attempting to climb.
Cue the editor. First, it’s not about cramming your letter with your entire plot. It’s about setting up the context – where does your story take place and in his words, why it’s “cool.” It’s about the character arc and showing what the character desires, some conflict and how the character changes – also without being too wordy. It’s also about introducing the main characters – hopefully not too many – while avoiding confusion. Most of all, it’s about doing your homework on each and every agent you intend to submit to so you don’t come across like a telemarketer making a cold call. All this in just 350 words, give or take.
Sounds “easy” until you try, and then you can’t get out of your own way. Which is why – and don’t call me a traitor here, because I held out until I received a few rejection letters and then swallowed my humble pie – it’s worth it to shell out the bucks and take a class or hire a pro. They can tell you what’s extraneous, what requires more info, and redline all the crap that’s better saved for your synopsis (if you get to submit one). The painful truth is, you can learn only so much on your own, and then you need the feedback massacre. It only hurts a little. Okay a lot, but it’s worth it. And like I said, this won’t be the last time I rant on queries. Now that mine is as “complete” as it’s going to be, I’m going to put it in front of an agent and see if it holds up. Pray that it holds up, more accurately. That will be a double-swipe deodorant day for sure.
Worried[Sic] 