What’s My Background Noise This Month?

Pretty dark, but that’s where I am in life with everything medically going on. I did an actual return to Rob Zombie for awhile. Or, if it’s not exactly dark, then it’s LOUD. Thanks to the meds, I can’t turn my brain off. You’d think that would be a writer’s ideal, however it comes with a side of ADHD and restlessness. Not the best creative recipe.

What took a turn today? “Hatef–k” by The Bravery. Some more She Wants Revenge – upbeat for once in the form of “All Would Up.” And, a little Beck “Youthless.” Probably one of my favorite artists ever, can never go wrong with those guys! Oh, and last but not least, Little Boots‘ “Remedy.”

Sidelined!

“Crawl Away” by Alex Cherry – pretty much sums me up these days.

Well, it commenced during this blog-building exercise, but it has since snowballed into an unexpected life and time-suck. I’m talking about my personal health, which has pretty much sidelined me from writing, and this blog. If you asked me four weeks ago whether I thought a “little” thing such as a medical condition could derail my love and passion for writing, I would’ve told you you’re nuts. Joke’s on me! It’s not such a “little” thing anymore. Between the issue itself, the meds (and the surprise hospitalization), and the fatigue/insomnia, my characters are doing little more than swirling overhead as I lay on the sofa and try not to shop Sephora for the one-hundred thousandth time out of sheer boredom. Lack of focus is an understatement!

However, this is a good life lesson. There’ll be many things that sideline us from writing–both positive and negative. And you know what? As I’ve come to learn, that’s okay. Sometimes we need a break. And I’m talking about a real one, not just a week away from a story. The first set of novels I wrote I hadn’t touched since July, right before my vacation and, incidentally, the sneaky little health problem that was about to overtake me. A couple of weeks ago, without anything to read, I converted the first of the novels into an ePub, uploaded it onto my Nook. I brought it with me to every doctors’ visit. I’d forgotten half of what I’d written (which turned out to be a good thing, because I was cringing and regretting every last query letter I’d ever sent out) yet the other half made me insanely excited and motivated to return to writing. It was, in all modesty, surprisingly good! There were sentences, phrases and descriptions that made me do the proverbial “Wait–I wrote that?” double take. (Then I swelled with silent pride and threw my figurative hat back in the ring, amending that I made a rookie mistake and queried too early). In any case, the unintended sabbatical  made me realize I do have some talent, and it gave me the objective, critical editor’s eye I lacked being so deep in the reeds before. As soon as I get up enough energy, I am returning to it with a hatchet and a machete. I’m evolving as a writer, which means something is working, but boy…it’s a trek.